I don’t even know where to start.
I don’t even know where to start.
DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET
SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS
GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS
AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE.
I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO
WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS
DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK.
There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them.
The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi)
You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted.
Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint.
Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color.
BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible.
Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.)
Power Structure of Oppression
Yes. Yes. YES.
I’m just gonna leave this here, in case anyone thought their fee fees were more important than systematic oppression
In that last one it just looks so resigned,
Oh my God this is fucking beautiful
this is exactly how i want to meet my husband and i will accept nothing less
She dropped a bear. Picked up another.
sometimes i think about the horror stories i’ve heard about evangelion fanboys who complain about kawoshin, and how ‘gay’ 3.0 was, and that it was omg JUST catering to those YAOI FANGIRLS!!!!!!
and then i think about the wider audience of anime nerdboys and otaku who think that female fans (and female-directed fanservice) is ruining anime
isn’t it so funny that what is supposedly fanservice for women entails a complex, plot-driving queer relationship that allows for compelling character development
on the other hand, there’s fanservice for straight men, which involves the jiggling boob of a fourteen year old girl
i think about this a lot
Viscount Dumar is thrilled, I am sure. As for me, this is one of my two OTPs of DA2.
Idris Elba by Anthony Mandler for GQ Magazine, June 2012
1. Those tigers look thin.
2. Zoos are fucking stupid.
3. Capturing wild animals and using them for human entertainment is a super shitty thing to do.
4. This is not cool.
This is abuse and horrible. Zoos are prisons.
Some zoos only take old animals to where they are given an easy life. Their maintenance is funded by people coming into the zoo.
Those tigers are not thin.
"Zoos are fucking stupid" wow such science you sold me
They weren’t captured for this purpose, they probably weren’t captured at all, it’s called rescuing.
This is cool.
This is not abuse, it’s actually exercise if you think about it.
Zoos are not prisons. Zoos allow us to rescue animals, research them, and protect them from hunters and the dangers that we, as humans, impose on them.
I’m so done with all the shit about zoos on my fucking dash.
Zoos literally save animals every day so why don’t you do your freaking research.
This comment is perfect^
Animals come to zoos as a result of
- being born captive
- getting injured in the wild and rescued to live a healthy life in captivity
- being rescued from black market dealers, private collectors, or the like who decide that they can no longer care for the animals or who had been illegally keeping the animals
- being in a breeding program to increase their numbers because the animal is endangered in the wild
If you knew anything about tigers at all, you’d know that they are endangered in the wild due to poaching and hunting. It is of utmost importance that their numbers increase, or they will go extinct within the next fifty years. I don’t know what zoo this is so I don’t know their reputation, but the tigers look healthy, and this tug-of-war is good for them because some animals get stressed in zoos when they are bored. This isn’t solely to entertain zoo guests, it is to give the tigers something fun to do.
Zoos do not snatch animals from the wild without a good reason. If you want to protest animal captivity, go to SeaWorld and protest the orcas being kept there, they are far too large to belong in such cramped spaces and they are solely kept for entertainment.
Thank you and good day.
Zoo’s serve a purpose, but using animals for entertainment like that isn’t okay.
The ‘entertainment’ is more for the tigers’ benefit than the humans’. It gives them stimulation and exercise. I know this may shock you if you’ve never had a cat before but big cats do play, much like their domestic counterparts. No one is getting hurt and the tigers have another avenue with which to be entertained.
can she just get an award or something
All hail the Fruit Viking!
She is my favorite.
I will probably always reblog this, so you should get used to it.
this. is. AMAZING.
I’m loving the current Sailor Moon fandom renaissance as much as the next girl, but let’s take a moment to remember that golden Geocities age of MIDI background music, guestbooks, web rings and every SOS campaign from Prince Uranus to strawberry Pop-Tarts.
OH MY GOD it’s like I’m 11 again
I MISS MIDISSS AHHH
I MISS YOU 1997!!!!!
My god. It’s beautiful.
A wonderous fuck-ton of penis and ass references (per request [though, let’s face facts; this was gonna show up at some point anyway]).
And please, for the love of god… the first image was an ice-breaker for whomever might not be able to handle the pein. Swallow your complaints with a Cialis and scroll by if you have issues.
[From various sources.]